


CatBlocked

by Flufferdoodle



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Metaverse (Persona 5), Crack, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:40:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28768704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flufferdoodle/pseuds/Flufferdoodle
Summary: "He rejected me," Goro said.“He did?” Makoto asked in fake surprise. “What’d he say?”“I asked him to dinner tonight, and he said he couldn’t make it because it was his cat’s birthday.” Goro looked up, eyes flashing with anger. “Cat’s birthday. He couldn’t even come up with a good excuse!”
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 22
Kudos: 146





	CatBlocked

Makoto sighed as Goro picked at his croissant, uncharacteristically quiet and sulky. They had a meeting with the directors in about twenty minutes, and if he didn’t eat anything now, he’d spend the entire morning moping and bitching about food. She just didn’t have the patience to deal with that today.

“What happened this time?” she asked, voice blunt and light. A signature combo that took practice to master, really.

“He rejected me.”

Ah, yes. The infamous “he.” Makoto quietly suppressed the urge to roll her eyes at whatever new misunderstanding had erupted between Goro and his crush. She had a pretty good hunch she knew who he was fussing over, and if it was who she thought it was, there was no way his feelings weren’t reciprocated.

But, seeing as it was who she thought it was, Goro was going to have a hell of a time figuring that out.

“He did?” she asked in fake surprise. “What’d he say?”

“I asked him to dinner tonight, and he said he couldn’t make it because it was his cat’s birthday.” Goro looked up, eyes flashing with anger. “ _Cat’s birthday._ He couldn’t even come up with a good excuse!”

Makoto wanted to laugh. Yeah, she was right. She took a moment before speaking to ensure her voice didn’t shake.

“That sounds like a legitimate reason to reschedule to me,” she said. If it was literally anyone else, she would not believe so. “Some people are very passionate about their pets.” And by some, she meant one. “Did you ask if another time worked?”

“No! I…” Goro huffed and stood up. “I’m not hungry.”

Oh boy, a morning of Goro-bitching it was.

“Maybe you should contact him again. See if you can attend the cat’s birthday party?” Makoto, unfortunately, knew she’d be in attendance.

Goro frowned. “What? I don’t even know his cat. Why would I go to its birthday? Also, who the _hell_ throws their cat a birthday party? Makoto, with all due respect, he is rejecting me.”

“He didn’t say no,” she reminds him, “he just said he’s having a birthday party for his cat. Some people are like that.”

“There’s no way he could _possibly_ be seriously doing such a thing.”

Yeah, that’s what everyone thought when they first met Ren.

\--

“Yeah, I don’t think he’s into me,” Ren says. He looked unperturbed, but Makoto knew he probably cried quietly into his perfect Columbian Bucaramanga Supremo blend over the perceived rejection just hours before the party. The attic of the Leblanc is the most decorated as she’s ever seen it, with banners and sushi cut-outs hanging from the ceiling. A large table featuring a tower of sashimi sits in the center, with Ren’s fat ( _“He’s not fat! He can run, like, even faster than Ryuji!”_ ) cat happily chewing on a chunk of fish. Combined with the heat, it smelled a bit disgusting if you got too close, but the scent of curry and coffee managed to mask the worst of it.

All around them were other friends from Ren’s college and high school, drinking and chatting. Haru, bless her soul, had baked Morgana-shaped cookies for everyone, and was chattering away with Futaba. They both seemed entranced by Morgana’s process of selecting fish to eat. Makoto wondered at what point they were going to try to wrestle the spoiled creature back into its party hat.

“He asked you out on a date and you told him you couldn’t due to your cat’s birthday party and offered no alternatives,” Makoto says. “What did you expect him to say?”

Ren shrugs. “I dunno. I was hoping he’d want to come to the party. I said he was welcome to come.”

Makoto wants to hit something. “He might’ve thought it’d be rude seeing as he doesn’t know your cat,” she suggests.

“Oh, that’s a good point,” Ren says. He takes a sip of his coffee. Hot coffee, even though it’s boiling outside. “I don’t know if Mona would like him, anyways.”

Really, she’s surprised that Ren would even still want to date him with that revelation revealed.

She wonders if Ren has telepathy when he immediately mutters, “Actually, maybe he’s a bad idea. Mona has good taste, after all.” He sips his coffee again. “But he’s kinda hot, though. Also, I wanted to ask what kind of shampoo he uses to make his hair grow so long.”

 _Ren is a good person_ , she reminds herself. _Ren was the one who pulled out yakuza contacts out of nowhere to save me from Kaneshiro. Ren is a loving, kind human being, and the world is a better place with him in it._

“Uh, Makoto? You’re looking a little murder-y.”

\--

“Makoto.”

“Goro.”

“I… I can’t tell if this is a joke or not,” Goro says. Bewilderment has written itself all over his face as he studies his phone. His croissant goes abandoned for a second day in the row, but this time Makoto came prepared with a bag of trail mix to force upon him the second he starts complaining later about being hungry.

Makoto looks over his shoulder at the little screen.

 **Ren:** sorry we had to reschedule btw. mona had a good birthday though! gave him lots of sushi  
 **Goro:** No worries! I’m glad you were able to have a nice celebration for your cat. **  
Ren:** yah btw what kind of shampoo do you use? your hair is super long

“I’m almost positive he’s just messing with me,” Goro says. “There is no possible way that he’s being serious.”

Makoto takes a moment to remind herself of all the reasons she hasn’t killed Ren yet before searching for a response.

“I think he’s interested in you,” she says, “and has a terrible sense of humor.” A true statement, even if Ren did not intend the last message as a joke.

“Hm,” Goro says. He starts typing a response.

An hour later, Goro is complaining about being hungry, but Makoto has decided to eat the trail mix herself.

\--

Haru insists on meeting up at the Leblanc, and of course Ren is working. Makoto doesn’t know how to explain to Haru – sweet, wonderful Haru – that she might actually combust if she has to listen to whatever nonsense Ren has to spew today.

At least he and Goro made it out on a date. Probably. She hopes. She dreams. She doesn’t actually know, because she put both Goro and Ren on mute last night. It’s the weekend, and she’s not paid enough to handle this. Except now she’s _paying_ to handle it, because she’s purchasing coffee from Ren since Haru wanted him to try out some new beans she grew.

“Yeah, I mean, Mona definitely hates him,” Ren says as he passes Haru her cup.

“I thought you two went to a diner,” Makoto says, hoping she doesn’t regret her words too much.

“We did,” Ren answers. “Mona came too.”

Makoto counts to ten. “You brought your cat on a date.”

“Well, I mean, I kept Mona in the bag.” Ren nods back towards the duffel sitting on the end of the counter. Morgana was curled up beside it, nose occasionally twitching.

“Did he… ask about why you were carrying an old ratty duffel around on your date?” Makoto asks.

“Yeah. Told him it was for the airsoft shop. Had to run some errands for Iwai afterwards, anyways.”

“The member of the yakuza,” Makoto clarifies.

“Ex-member. But yeah. I mean, I need the bag and Morgana for that anyways. Didn’t make sense to make an extra trip post-date. I don’t have the student commuter card anymore, you know.”

Haru nods in understanding.

“What did… he say to that?” Makoto asks.

“Well, I dunno. He asked if I was into model guns then, and I was kinda like no not really, and then he asked why I had to head there afterwards and I didn’t really know what to say since I’m supposed to keep it all on the DL. Then Morgana meowed and we ended up talking about how I brought my cat to the diner instead.”

\--

Goro eats three croissants.

“Makoto,” he says levelly, “Amamiya is the hottest man I have ever met in my life. He is also batshit insane.”

Makoto just wants to enjoy her oatmeal.

“He carried his fucking cat in a duffel bag to the diner, and I think he went to do some yakuza shit after. He said he needed to go to some model gun store and I figured, okay, weird hobby, right? But he said he wasn’t actually into guns, and I stopped by the only model gun store in the area afterwards and it was definitely a yakuza front.” Goro eats a fourth croissant. “Makoto. I don’t know what to do.”

Makoto knows what she should do, which is get new friends.

“He brought his cat to the diner?” she says, hoping to focus on that instead.

“ _Yes._ And the cat just chilled in the bag. It just sat there. He unzipped the bag a little and it popped its head out and he fed it chicken from the table.”

“Huh,” she says.

“I’m just so mad he didn’t take me home.”

Makoto chokes.

\--

“Sooooooo, how’re things going with you and that Akechi guy?” Ann asks, smiling from her spot in the shade. They’re all at the beach because it’s too hot, and Ren is stroking his clearly overheating cat and drinking coffee from his thermos.

“I think it’s going well,” Ren says. “We went to play billiards and he talked for twenty minutes about playing with his non-dominant hand.” He sets his coffee down to press a cold drink from the cooler against his forehead.

“…What?” Ann says, saving Makoto the trouble.

“I dunno. I thought it was kind of cute.”

“Did you take… Morgana with you, this time?” Makoto asks.

“Nah. Futaba needed him for something, so it was just us.” Morgana meows in agreement. “We’re going to a jazz club tomorrow.”

“Oh, that sounds exciting! Do you know who’s singing?” Ann asks.

Ren shrugs. “I don’t even know where it is. I hope they allow cats, though.”

\--

“Is it an emotional support animal, do you think?” Goro asks. “The cat. Ren’s cat.”

As far as Makoto knows, Morgana is a stray that Ren picked up off the street one day and takes to his primary doctor since he’s afraid that Morgana could have a microchip and an actual _vet_ would find it and return Morgana back to his allegedly abusive first home.

She needed to ask Futaba if they ever actually looked into that.

“No idea,” Makoto says.

“We went back to my apartment after the jazz club,” Goro says, despair working its way into his voice. “We made out until precisely ten o’clock, and then the cat somehow got into the room _past the locked door_ and jumped on the bed and made us go to bed.”

“Morgana… made you go to bed?”

“ _Yes._ ”

\--

Haru wants a fish tank, so Makoto finds herself in a pet store looking at fish with her girlfriend. Of course, one aisle away is Ren with Morgana and Futaba in tow, arguing over cat food.

They pause to chat when they see her and Haru, and Makoto braces herself for whatever idiocy works its way out of Ren’s mouth today.

“Goro’s getting a cat,” he says. “Futaba and I are heading over afterwards to help him set up.”

“Why?” Makoto asks.

“I dunno. We went out to Crossroads last night and ended up talking about cats. I told him they’re a pretty big commitment and not something he should just rush into, but he insisted he was ready. He was kind of drunk and we ended up going back to Leblanc since I didn’t really remember his address. He started stripping and then passed out before he even got his shirt off.”

“Oh,” Makoto says pleasantly.

\--

“I have a cat now,” Goro says.

“Why?” Makoto asks again.

“I… I went to a bar with Ren, and we were talking about relationships and commitment. I thought we were, at least. We went back to his place and I finally thought we were going to bone, but then I think I passed out. When I woke up, he had all the adoption information up for Byakko and I couldn’t really say no.”

Goro eats his croissant.

“I’m hoping my cat can distract Ren’s,” he adds.

Makoto stares at her oatmeal.

\--

“I think Morgana’s gay,” Ren says. Because really, what else would he say?

“What makes you think that?” Makoto asks.

“Well, Goro brought home his cat. We gave Byakko time to adjust and all that, and then Goro invited us both over for a movie night, and I’m pretty sure Byakko and Morgana ran off to have sex. Well, actually, they couldn’t have because they’re neutered. But I think they’re dating.”

“And what about you and Goro?” Makoto asks. “What do you think of Goro, anyways?”

“Oh, he’s pretty cool. He has bad taste in movies, though.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I’m hoping we can meet up again so our cats can date.”

“Are… you two dating?”

Ren shrugs. “Well, ever since he got Byakko and Morgana’s been out of the way, we’ve been having a lot of sex, so I’d think so.”

**Author's Note:**

> happy 2am


End file.
